Do not be deceived by your karma. Ok.
What about Proust? Will he return to earth? (CLS, 1890)
Still trying to keep up with The Changing Light,
and this changing light, early October, shot three
of chemo coming Tuesday–nakedness left with no
choice but to sin and multiply (CLS, 192). Get it?
It’s all accident. The light almost has a scent to it,
something herbal, a chef’s concoction, amuse bouche,
what comes before the main course, November’s rains.
The music of Takemitsu, “Requiem for String Orchestra,”
in the background. And then Proust: I asked myself whether
there was not an existence altogether different from the one
I knew, in direct contradiction to it, but itself the real one….(WBG, 98)
as if to answer Merrill’s question, not coming back
but not here either. David can relate. He is trying to sit
zazen with a straight back and a straight face rehearsing
all of the songs he knows, swaying to the inner music
of his busy mind, his pounding headache, the tumor
of the spheres that won’t shut up its metastatic yawp.
